2 years of exploration into the depths of the human soul

The first time I sat in the room I felt like a snail without a shell
someone who had crawled out from under a rock
I was scared of my own shadow
Sitting still wasn’t something I was familiar with

There were 12 steps written on the walls
There were smiling faces of people who were happy
I didn’t understand how they could not be suffering like I was

years later I see their faces of courage
in my lap is a piece of notebook paper covered with writing
The entire page is filled from an hour of scribbling

The page contains my life
well, it contains my life in regards to suffering
in regards to addiction

I opened the meeting with promises met
followed by a series of nasty habits that have concluded

Then I started at the beginning
vulnerability of the ultimate truth in my experience
Strength and hope were my intention

Heart break, bail bondsmen and lawyers
hospitals, rehab and homelessness

depression, anxiety, insanity, insecurity

vulnerability

until recovery

Daily phone calls, meetings, literature reading
exploration of the soul
restoration of the whole
dedication to the goal.

By the time I was done
this burden has been lifted
vulnerability has allowed me to be gifted
to fear nothing that has ever existed

There still is the unknown but I wake up everyday
the face this with courage