I used to love her

I used to love her before she made me suffer
Those who can’t see you at your worst, don’t deserve to see you at your best

I used to love her before it got tougher than she could handle
memories extinguished like soft smelling candles
the Heart is still stuck with pins and needles
maybe I didn’t fuck her enough spread eagle
or she couldn’t see the future like a sequel

I will find another lover, however
the cost of pain from lost gains makes it harder to recover
Asked my boss for the day off so I can get out of the gutter
Stashed away a box with a pipe and vaporizer

I never know when I’m actually getting wiser
Starting to think it means nothing compared to desire
a little flame can turn into a bigger fire
Never show all your intentions otherwise others get tired of your invention
Did I mention?
It’s hard to sleep, hard to eat, hard to quit the cessation
Hard to keep the heart from breaking and bleeding as it hastens
the loss of connection
split plans and refunds of plane reservations
a last goodbye and exchange of possessions

I used to love her before she said she was suffocating
She said she “Couldn’t breathe because of a guy like me”
so now I grow plants with poetry while sitting at home lonely
maybe the next one that walks in, will have enough oxygen
Falling face first in to a bottle of gin is not my style
I’d rather keep running till my feet hurt from the miles

Signed up for a 10k in April
Focusing on something that will make me stable
I used to love her before it got too painful

-John Tabrizi

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